reading a different book

she never liked making love in the morning
and he came to see her outright refusal
as the beginning of an end.

he could not remember that last time.

years later when he sensed
she was ready to refuse all lovemaking
he worked hard - at remembering - the little details of each.

as if, in case it were the last.

he started reading articles about grief,
and grieving. determined
this time he would.

with heart and soul.

sure, that as long as he grieved
he would not become a man:
reflected in a picture,
sitting on a bed,
facing the other wall